Growing in the Theological Virtues: So What is True Human Love Anyway?
OK, so what is true human love? Which Greek idea of love best fits the human heart? Many would say Philios, which isn’t a bad answer. After all, the Greeks called Philios the highest form of human love, right? Others would say that after Jesus, Agape is the best fit for the human heart. That’s full human love. But in his encyclical Deus Caritas Est (God is Love), Pope Benedict XVI warns us not to think that Philios or Agape abolish Eros. Eros is part of human nature. God built us to identify what is good and to desire it. The fact is, true human love is made up of all four of these types of love.
Unfortunately, fallen human nature puts more emphasis on the body and the emotions than on the spiritual. Eros is exciting. Philios and Agape are a lot of work. So we are “inordinately” drawn by eros, and we need to put conscious effort into balancing and perfecting eros with the other types of love. But that does not mean that we abolish eros altogether. It means that we put it in its proper place within human nature. This is a process. And this process typically looks like a progression or a growth from Eros to Storge to Philios to Agape. We first use Storge to remind us that people are to be loved and things are to be used. We then choose to love people around us and to will their good. We then work toward giving ourselves more and more completely to them. That’s how we reclaim human love – all under the power of grace.
Where does charity fit into all of this? Remember that as a theological virtue, charity is first a grace. It is the movement of sanctifying grace that empowers us to love God above all things and to love our neighbor as members of God’s family. The kind of love that charity calls us to is healed human love that is elevated by Agape. True charity exercises all four types of love. But the main role of this grace is the fearless exercise of self-sacrifice.
How do we cooperate with this grace and strengthen charity within us? Dispose your heart to charity by consciously growing in Storge and Philios and purifying Eros. And pray that the Holy Spirit will increase charity within you as your heart becomes more and more open to the gift.
How do you strengthen Storge and Philios? What does it mean to purify Eros? These questions go beyond the scope of this article series. Doing these things requires instruction and guidance and support. In other words, it requires discipleship. That’s why From the Abbey offers its online discipleship program, including the online course on learning to love. You can learn more about the discipleship program and this course by clicking here. Join an online community of disciples who support each other in our journey to Heaven. Click here to rebuild your inner abbey and to grow in intimacy with Jesus!