Why Are You Too Busy to Pray? (it’s not because you don’t care)

Are you a “stuck” Catholic? Spiritual growth is a pipe dream, right? Or at least a future goal rather than a current focus. You do your Catholic “duty” but you’re not deepening your relationship with God. Why not? Not due to lack of desire! You really want to grow in your faith. If you didn’t you wouldn’t be here. It’s just that right now you don’t have the time. Your’re just too busy to pray!

Don’t worry. It’s not just you. Being stuck due to busyness is a very common problem. In fact, it’s my problem too!

Too Busy to Pray

I mean, we have our family to take care of. We have work. We have social obligations – when we have time for them between running our children all over the place. Our days are full. When do we have time to pray, to learn our faith, to nurture relationships or to work on the myriads of other things required to grow spiritually? We hardly have enough time for what we need to do now. And even if we had time, we don’t have the energy. We just can’t add another thing to our lives.

I get it. Heck – I live it.

Being too busy to pray is very common. But is it OK? Let me tell you a story.

An archaeologist once hired some Inca tribesmen to lead him to an archaeological site deep in the mountains. After they had been moving for some time the tribesmen stopped and insisted they would go no further. The archaeologist grew impatient and then angry. But no matter how much he cajoled, the tribesmen would not go any further. Then all of a sudden the tribesmen changed their attitude. They picked up the gear and set off once more. When the bewildered archaeologist asked why they had stopped and refused to move for so long, the tribesmen answered, “We had been moving too fast and had to wait for our souls to catch up.”

(Source: http://storiesforpreaching.com/category/sermonillustrations/busyness/
based on a story told in the movie Beyond the Clouds)

That story describes you and me perfectly, doesn’t it? We find ourselves moving faster than our souls. Our problem is that we don’t take the time to let our souls catch up.

Your Problem is NOT Lack of Desire

One of the greatest problems with existing programs for Catholic spirituality is that they assume that the people who don’t perform spiritual practices lack real desire for God. Yes, it is possible that we need a bit of an attitude adjustment. We need to realize that Heaven is a relationship with God, and the only way to get to Heaven is to have a relationship with Jesus. Grace makes that relationship possible, but as

You and I are acting like the lazy spouse – “Hey, I said ‘I love you’ when we got married. What more do you want from me?”

in any relationship you need to be an active participant in the relationship. Let’s face it. You and I have been the lazy spouse who says, “I said I love you when I married you (I’m baptized, aren’t I?). What more do you want from me?” Marriages like that disintegrate. So do spiritual lives. Being busy is no excuse.

But this attitude adjustment is easy. And a lack of desire isn’t our main problem. Our main problem is really a lack of the skills and strategies associated with the virtue of prudence.

• First, we are distracted from what is truly important by an increasing number of “urgent” demands on our attention.
• Second, we increasingly feel out of control. We don’t have control of our time, our energy, our money, or most of our other personal resources.

Prudence is about focus

Prudence won’t make you less active than you are. But it will help you to be active about the things that are most important.

You still have to work. You still have to drive your kids around. You still have to care for your family. But amidst all of that you can focus on “the better part.”

Do you remember the story of Mary and Martha from the Gospel (see Luke 10:38-42)? Jesus did not chastise Martha because she was active. He chastised her because she was “concerned about many things.” On the other hand, Mary was concerned with the one thing that mattered most.

Now let’s think of the saints whose lives were marked by prudence.

• Saint Thomas Aquinas became a prolific writer and teacher – sometimes writing five books at one time (with the help of scribes to whom he dictated). Yet, he also prayed every day.
• Mother Theresa once said that she and her sisters could never do the work they do if they didn’t make a holy hour every day. They were too busy NOT to pray!
• Saint Teresa of Avila founded a number of convents, faced many obstacles, but still developed an intense interior friendship with Jesus.

Can you imagine a life focused on Jesus and ordered based on what is truly important? What will spiritual growth mean to you? Greater peace? More meaning? Adventure rather than stress? If you can’t imagine it, look up one of these saints. Then imagine what your life would look like if you lived like they did. And don’t fall into the trap of thinking, “yea, but they’re saints – I’m not.” We are all called to be saints. And that’s the point.

The first step is for us to clarify what “the most important things” in our life are. What do we want to center our life around? More importantly, why? The second step is to learn the skills to make those priorities a reality. With the virtue of prudence, we can finally stop telling God that we’re just too busy to pray!

The Bottom Line

Bottom Line: It’s not how holy you are now that matters in your spiritual growth, it’s how committed you are to growing in holiness.

And a great way to commit yourself to grow in holiness is to establish habits that open your heart to what God wants to do in you through His grace.

I want to invite you to get started rebuilding your Inner Abbey by taking advantage of the opportunity in the banner below. From the Abbey‘s spirituality programs, including Planning for Grace, teach you how to develop the key spiritual virtues for a strong, active spiritual life as a layperson. Our online courses can help you learn your faith more deeply. The opportunity below is your best next step. Please join us!

Brought to you by Jeffrey S. Arrowood at From the Abbey, dedicated to helping you rediscover the JOY of learning and living your faith so you can grow in intimacy with God.