The Well-Ordered Life – Making the Tough Choices
Living a well-ordered life with prudence (virtue) is the first step of Catholic spiritual growth. Unless we have the time, energy and attention to give to our relationship with Jesus, we cannot expect that relationship to grow. We’ve seen how we can reclaim some of the time in our day through planned responses to the “urgent” things that make us react automatically. That’s an important part of prudence. Virtue can really empower us. But at some point, we’re going to have to make some choices. Something’s gotta go.
So how do we choose what to invest ourselves in – and what to say no to?
Here’s the magical equation:
M=D-R
Margin = Demands – Resources.
Dr. Richard Swenson defines margin as the measure of personal resources – time, energy, attention, money, social capital – that we have left over after we have met the demands placed on us for the day. This is where most Americans scoff. Left over? Most of us are running on overload. But building margin into our lives isn’t a pipe dream.
We can build margin by either increasing our personal resources (getting recharged) or by decreasing the demands on our lives. To accomplish this, we need to make careful choices about what we invest ourselves in. I recommend judging each activity you engage in during the day – and each new activity you’re invited to join – using the ACE Criteria. ACE is an acronym (I know, a bit cliché but this will be useful, trust me).
Ask yourself . . .
Alignment – Does this activity align with my vocation and my mission – the core activities that God has called me to engage in – or with my core priorities?
Contribution – Does this activity contribute to my spiritual and physical growth in a way that other activities do not?
Energizing – Is this activity truly energizing for me? Does it build up my personal resources so I have more margin when I’m done with it rather than less?
If you can answer yes to one or more of these questions, the activity might be one to say yes to. If you can’t honestly say yes, then it’s most likely something you need to say “no” to.
This decision isn’t always easy. This is the work of prudence. Virtue requires effort to get started.
There are a lot of things that are good to be involved in. But just because something is good to be involved in doesn’t mean you should get involved!
- Make the tough choices.
- Protect your margin.
- Choose the activities that are going to help you live according to your priorities. Dump the activities that don’t.
It’s not easy. But if we’re serious about holiness it’s going to be necessary.
I am very often recruited by the Knights of Columbus. Now the Knights would be a good organization to be involved in. But does it meet my ACE criteria? Well, my main mission is teaching. The KC’s are a service organization, not a teaching organization. They are a Catholic men’s group, so they might help me to be a better husband and father (my vocation) or to grow in my faith – if they’re doing more than meeting as a social club. So a few points there. But alignment is a bit weak. What about Contribution? Well, I’m already part of a Catholic men’s group that gives me the support I need in living my vocation and deepening my relationship with Jesus. This group (unlike the KC’s) is focused on spiritual growth. So the KC’s aren’t going to give contribute anything that I can’t get elsewhere. 0 points for Contribution. Energizing? My guess is that involvement in a social organization like this would become more a service and duty than energizing. This would be worth it if it aligned with my mission, but it won’t build margin in my life. So my overall analysis of involvement in the Knights of Columbus – for me – is that it doesn’t meet enough of the ACE criteria for me to choose involvement. Again, it’s something that’s good to do. And because it’s good to do, there are a number of guys that can’t figure out why I won’t join. But just because it’s good to do doesn’t mean it’s right for me. That’s how the ACE criteria works. Make sense?
Would you like to learn how this is done?
If you found this strategy useful, you’d be a great fit for the Planning for Grace online spirituality program. The program takes you through specific strategies for growth in both the natural and the supernatural virtues of prudence so you can put God at the center of your daily life and combat the external distractions that keep you from doing so. From the Abbey can help you learn your faith with our online courses and live the faith with our online spirituality programs. Please seriously consider taking the next step in the banner below. We’d love to have you grow in your faith with us!
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