Catholic Spiritual Growth – 3 Mistakes Most Catholics Make When They Try To Create a Habit of Prayer

Establishing a habit of daily prayer is vital for anyone who really wants a relationship with God. But it’s hard to do, isn’t it?

A habit of prayer requires a lot of self-discipline. And self-discipline takes time to develop.

But there are some mistakes that you can avoid to make the process easier. In fact, if you remove these three mistakes from your habit formation, you just might finally find yourself in a position to get into the habit once and for all. And that will the beginning of a new level of intimacy with God.

And you do want to grow in intimacy with God, right? That’s the whole goal of Catholic spiritual growth.

3 Mistakes of the Daily Prayer Newbie

Mistake #1: Making your goal too vague

You can’t reach a destination if you don’t know where you’re going. Too often people will start a resolution by making too vague a goal. “I want to pray more” is a nice sentiment. But there is nothing in that goal to signal when it has been met.

What to do instead: Create a daily prayer goal that you can concretely meet. I recommend choosing a specific prayer that you will say at a specific time of the day. “I will pray one decade of the Rosary (remember to keep it small at first) right after lunch every day.” Now that’s a solid goal. You’ll know every day whether or not you’ve met it. Accomplishing that goal will give you a sense of accomplishment and satisfaction, or at least a measure of what needs improvement.

Mistake #2: Stopping when you fail

You know what? You might as well just admit it right up front. You are going to fail. I don’t mean that you are ultimately going to fail and that you’ll never grow in intimacy with God. Not at all. But at some point you will suddenly stop eating lunch mid-bight and let your food fall out of your mouth as you realize in horror that you haven’t actually prayed your one decade of the Rosary for the past two weeks.

Dang.

But this is the point of decision. The worst thing you could do at this point is to just give up on yourself.

What to do instead: Acknowledge that failure is part of the learning process. Part of any habit formation process involves growth in perseverance. If you are aware of this fact from the very beginning, it won’t devastate you when failure actually happens to you. Get yourself back on track. Become more determined than ever.

Mistake #3: Starting too big

Probably the worst thing you could do for establishing any habit is to start off too big. Even a goal that seems “normal” can sometimes be too much to tackle for a beginner. You have to remember that establishing any new habit is just like starting an exercise program when you’re out of shape. It’s not only difficult, it can be painful. Prayer isn’t usually physically painful, but it can be spiritually painful for sure.

The danger is that if you make your goal too big, you’ll set yourself up for failure right at the beginning. The thing about establishing a habit is that it is not pleasant at first. Subconsciously we’ll look for any excuse to quit. Failing at a lofty goal is as good an excuse as any.

What to do instead: Start with baby steps. The important thing at first is to establish the habit. Don’t worry about your nagging sense of obligation. Don’t worry about what other Catholics are doing. Don’t even worry at first about having a deep “religious” experience in your prayer. Keep it simple. Take it slow. Start small.

So instead of praying an entire Rosary at first, make it your goal to pray one decade of the Rosary every day. If you finish the entire Rosary some days – great! But if you don’t, your daily goal is to pray just one decade. As long as you experience that success you’ll stay motivated to continue developing the habit. Once that habit is established, then you can add more.

In the end, establishing a prayer habit is really the same as establishing any habit. It takes strategy, self-discipline and perseverance. It is a vital part of Catholic spiritual growth.

But you don’t have to do it alone. You can get the training, support, and discipleship you need. Join other motivated Catholics and From the Abbey as we grow together in our faith by forming our “inner abbey.”

Establishing a habit of prayer is just one of the beginning steps that we call the “Keys to Spiritual Growth.”

Discover all five Keys to Spiritual Growth in a free video series. This series will introduce you to five key areas of Catholic spirituality that every Catholic needs to nurture and strengthen in order to deepen their relationship with God.