Catholic Prayer: The Virtue of Prudence and the Habit of Prayer

Second Key to Spiritual Growth: Forming the Habit of Prayer & Spirituality

In the last article of this series, we explored the four greatest obstacles to Catholic spirituality – the things that get in our way of developing a good prayer life and growing in our love for God.

In my own search for answers to these four obstacles, I discovered two virtues that are helping me conquer these barriers to spiritual growth. It also happens that these two virtues are standard in traditions concerning Catholic prayer. The virtue of prudence is the virtue of identifying what is truly good for us and then making a plan to get it. It is a “natural virtue,” which means that it helps us to live fully human lives (according to the human nature that God created within us). The virtue of charity is the virtue of loving God with our whole heart, soul, and might. Charity is a theological virtue, which means that it has its origins in God (God gives it to us initially) and it leads us to God. I look at theological virtues as muscles. God gives us the muscles of our body, but if we don’t exercise them they don’t do what they’re intended to do. More on this later.

Let’s first talk about the effect that the virtue of prudence can have on our Catholic spirituality.

An Appeal for Balance

Let’s begin with an appeal for balance. On one hand, we must always be aware that Catholic prayer is a relationship, not a task. Prayer is not something to add to our daily “to do” list. It is not an “extra” that we throw into our day. Rather, true prayer is a way of being – a state of the soul in constant connection with God. The advice would then be to increase your love for God.

No doubt.

But then I think about my relationship with my wife. Jodi and I go through seasons of closeness and distance. Our seasons of distance are usually caused by one or both of us getting absorbed into our daily tasks and projects. We can go through months without talking to each other, absorbed in our own little worlds. What brings us out of these dry periods of our relationship? Just deciding to love each other more doesn’t do it. We escape the dry periods by first recognizing we have slipped into it and are sacrificing our relationship, and then disciplining ourselves to spend time together.

You see, the fact is that love is always rooted in human nature. So while we don’t want to treat any relationship as a mere task to add to our daily list, we do need to deal with our own weaknesses and bad habits. We need the virtue of prudence to improve our relationships and even our Catholic spirituality.

What Prudence Can Do for You

The fact is that forming a prayer life takes work. The spiritual masters of Catholic tradition call this stage of prayer “ascesis” – a term that means work and even suffering. The beginning of this work is the virtue of prudence, which leads us to establish a habit of prayer.

Prudence isn’t a very sexy virtue. In fact, if you’ve read this far into this article I have to congratulate you on your tenacity. Most people will see “prudence” and just give up. There’s nothing to attract them. Big mistake.

Prudence is an incredibly powerful virtue that is obscenely underused.

In the area of prayer and spiritual growth, there are a number of things that prudence can do for you.

• Prudence teaches us to keep our goal in mind. If we have a vision of where we want to be, it’s a lot easier to motivate ourselves to get there.
• If you feel that you have no time for prayer, overload" will open in a new window" rel="noopener noreferrer">prudence can be a great help. A sense of busyness is usually caused by being overwhelmed, which in turn is caused by a disorganized use of our time. Prudence teaches us to strategize our use of time so that we have time for the important things in life – like prayer!
• One reason we don’t pray is that we just get swept along in our daily routine and we just don’t think about it. Prudence would lead us to make prayer part of our daily routine by creating a habit of prayer.
• Forming a habit is not easy but exercising the virtue of prudence in other areas makes forming a specific new habit a lot easier.
• Prudence can help us minimize distractions because when we plan ahead we are less likely to fall victim to them.
• Prudence can help us weather dry times of prayer by keeping us focused on our goals.

How to Apply Prudence to Catholic Prayer

I’m sure you’ve heard all of the common advice

• Pray at the same time every day
• Choose a special location for your prayer
• Power through dry periods with willpower

And if this advice works for you, definitely use it! Personally, I don’t find that it fits my personality at all. However, what it does offer is the message that we need to become disciplined in our prayer life. Here are some steps that have worked for me:

• Fix in your mind and heart that intimacy with God is the most important good that you can search for, and that daily prayer is the best way to grow in intimacy with him.
• Be ready to undergo deep conversion – the moral life and the spiritual life are intimately connected!
• Make a specific plan for daily prayer – I recommend scheduling 3 shorter prayer sessions each day and one long prayer session a week.
• Don’t look for great experiences right away. Remember you are forming a habit – one that you will infuse with love. Forming good habits requires doing battle against yourself, which is never pleasant. Have faith that God will reward your efforts.
• The easiest way to form a habit is to attach a new habit to an existing habit. For example, if you are in the habit of enjoying a cup of morning coffee, this would be a great time to include a new habit of prayer. Pray while you drink your first cup of coffee in the morning.
• Reevaluate your plan. If you find your current plan isn’t working, make adjustments. If you can’t focus on an entire rosary, start with a decade or two. The key is to get into the habit, not to saddle yourself with a burdensome obligation.
• Meditation is central to Catholic prayer. Be sure that one of your prayer sessions each day allows time for quiet meditation – opening yourself just to be in God’s presence and to listen to anything he might lay on your heart.
• Be sure to get rid of all distractions during your prayer time. Don’t try to pray with your cell phone on or your email open – trust me; it won’t work!
• The greatest habit you can practice is to bring yourself into the presence of God in every part of your daily life. This is how we can fulfill Jesus’ command to “pray always.”

Click here to read an awesome list of daily spiritual practices: “The Seven Daily Habits of Holy Apostolic People” from Holy Spirit Interactive 

I get into a lot more detail about the virtue of prudence in my course “Planning for Grace - opens in a new window" rel="noopener noreferrer">Planning for Grace.” This course would make an excellent starting point for anyone looking for spiritual growth.

Of course, a good Catholic prayer life doesn’t end with prudence. As we conquer our weaknesses and bad habits by applying this natural virtue, we must also infuse our prayer with love through the virtue of charity. Prayer is a relationship with God. Without love, it is meaningless.

We’ll talk more about the virtue of charity in the next article of this series. In the meantime, here is a very practical list of spiritual practices to get you on the right track!

Brought to you by Jeffrey S. Arrowood at From the Abbey, dedicated to helping you rediscover the JOY of learning and living your faith so you can grow in intimacy with God.

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